Friday, July 24, 2009

Parenting on Facebook.

Inspired by Gail's post on her teenagers and a Facebook discussion she had.
This was an exchange on one of my friend from La Leche League Facebook wall. Needless to say the contrast to what I am used to in the unschooling boards is huge.
This is about a little boy not 3 and a half years old yet.
Its very sad to see parents create such an adversarial relationship with their kids from the get go. All because of a couple of bucks that it cost for a box of Band-Aids!

MOM's son is howling "Band-aid!!! Band-aid!!! Band-aid!!!" over and over and over non-stop now for 15 minutes... because he wants a band-aid but doesn't need one. I have to draw the line somewhere, or there won't be any left when they're needed.... I'm stubbornly refusing to give in this time! ugh

Poster 1-I understand the frustration, but it's still kind of funny! M. occasionally whined about needing a band-aid for his toe, every time he noticed the little blood blister on his toe nail from dropping his sippy cup on it. It happened at least 6 months ago! Luckily it finally grew out a week or two ago, ha ha.
Poster 2-don't give up hang in there girl!
Poster 3-I, too, sturggle with the Band-Aid battle! Stick to your guns!
Poster 4-For us it's food... this morning our son wanted butter on his muffin. I gave him some, he picked off the butter and ate it without any muffin, then asked for more. I gave him more and took the butter away. He ate the butter and they screamed and cried for more. It' tough!
Poster 5 -No blood, no band-aid! That's what my mom's rule always was. Grandma always gave us a band-aid regardless. I admit I'm a softie when it comes to giving them out. Hang in there
MOM-there's always something! it's hard -- if you let them do it once, they'll keep trying next time! kind of like my raccoon I guess, he's back for more food ;) of course.
ME- Take a few out of the box and give him the box. Its less than $2 and your child will be happy and know mom cares.
MOM-see, I've let him in the past when it's borderline, but we've gone through so many in the past week! I feel the need to start limiting it to real blood/injuries, not past ones that are scabbed over and almost healed... He used to go in there and get his own, now I'm locking the door and putting them up high!
Poster 6-Been there, done that! Be strong!!
Poster 7 -Okay, the way I look at it, it's not about the bandaid - it's about the fact that he is screaming about it for 15 minutes! No means no, that's what kids have to learn!!! Don't get me wrong, this is NOT about blame here- my 9-year-old is still learning and still whining and throwing fits when she doesn't get her way . . . but she has to learn the fits aren't going to get her anywhere besides up into her room until she is done!!! Oh the challenges of parenting!!! HANG IN THERE, HEATHER!!! We are all with you!!!
KIDS GRANDMOTHER ( dad's side and former LLL leader)-And as Grandma, I can say,"this too will pass". Soon enough Zach will be handing out bandages to his kids. :)
ME-Grandma is right.

How sad..... My daughter , who is the same age, has had boxes of Band-Aid applied all over her body many times. It always makes her feel better when she gets hurt or it is plain fun to have them all over. One time I think I counted about 23 on her. Wish I had a picture taken.....


Ronnie said...

For me, it was transparent tape, until I realized that I was experiencing major frustration and making my kids feel like crap over a $1 roll of tape. I bought them each their own roll and have kept an ample supply in the house ever since (even though they have long since stopped decorating their bodies with things as cheap as tape and Band-Aids!).

I'm so glad I chose peace and kindness over making some inane point.

Heather's Moving Castle said...

I gave up the band aid war. I stocked up on them. We have them all over. I keep them in my purse for other kids and my own now. You've seen me give them to kids. LOL. I used to be a no blood no band aid at times when $ was too tight. But they are cheap and make everyone happy, even me. So I gave up that a long time ago now. So sad to see a 9 year old is having temper tantrums. That says a lot about their parenting situation. :O(

Frank said...

Sigh! You said it - they're establishing an adversarial relationship which will only worsen as time goes on. If you're that adamant about some cheapass bandaids, what's gonna happen when it's time for junior to borrow the car?

Deanne said...

I was just talking about band-aid love with my 12yo daughter yesterday. We were remembering how we always had to have the special character band-aids when they were younger. They were thrilled when they got their very own boxes in their Christmas stockings. LOL They are so cheap, and such a small easy way to help a child feel better, I don't get why anyone would refuse them! Sad, sad, sad.

We have a whole drawer full in our bathroom. They have always had free access to as many band-aids as they wanted, and now they hardly ever use them. Imagine that! ;P

Christy said...

I hate those conversations! What a stupid thing to force your child to cry over. I really wish parents would it! Parenting can be a joy if you just let it be.

amy said...

Wow! That's sad. It's so weird how that's considered the norm in much of society-I'm so thankful to be able to surround myself with people like you.-yeah I live in a bubble sometimes, but its a peaceful, joyful bubble full of people who CARE about their kids.

Karen said...

I can't imagine denying my child such simple comforts all in the name of "authority." Believe me, sometimes I yearn for those days when a "kiss" could make it all better! I have a wonderful relationship with my kids - 21, 19, 16, and 12 - and I know it's, at least in part, to their always knowing I would meet their needs - and wants - whenever it was possible, that I cared what mattered to them, no matter what that was. Why would a mother feel the need to make her child's life so difficult over something so insignificant?

Anonymous said...

ugh.... we can get 60 bandaids for $2.... and yes if you put a few away and let them have the rest what is the harm.... and why not give him one if HE thinks he needs one... its not about if the parent thinks it is important but the child...

we go through tape too... and many other things... why not.....

Bea said...

No blood no band aid? Seriously? That's so sad.

Linnea loves bandaids. A box keeps her entertained for over 30 minutes sometimes. Not bad for something that costs so little money.

~K~ said...

Blood? Only when the child is spurting blood for a band-aid? What do they have to do? Poke themselves? Some kids would do that for a band-aid. :(

I don't think parents hear what they ask their children to do in order to get what they want. Gosh. Just give'm band-aids. Speaking of which, I gotta remember to buy more. We're almost out of Spidey bands.

EcoMaMa said...

Some adults do not know what they have until they destroy it. My son gets tons of band aids and because he has full access without limits, he always puts on a couple and leaves the rest. Lately none at all because the stigma is gone.